Acceptance & the Joy of Creating without an Audience

Renunciation is not getting rid of the things of this world, but accepting that they pass away.
Aitken Roshi

Special thanks and photography credit to Elie Gardner (all rights reserved, 2010) for the picnic potluck shots: Basically any photo with me in a black-and-white polka dot dress, a baby, and beautiful sunlight is Elie's. So, be kind and don't use without permission. All other photos are mine (shout-out to Nicole Hunt, however, for taking the pumpkin & Kella shot too. You make me look great!).

In the past two months I’ve let this blog rest. I know it’s not a way to keep the few readers I have, and for that long absence I hope you’ll bear with me and forgive me if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been. My life has definitely been in transition – from having a serious health scare in late August and early September that resulted in outpatient surgery to regaining my confidence and joy in simple day-to-day living, from exploring Austin, Texas with my best friend Jenna and her amazing friend Julia, dating a terrific person who has recaptured my imagination and heart, meeting with fellow writers bi-monthly on the corner of Chippewa and Landsdowne, and pursuing three jobs that I love: online writing center and writing across the curriculum full-time work, part-time baking, and part-time teaching.

Honestly, I think for these two months I have simply wanted to experience life without documenting it. I wanted, and still want, to be in the moment. To feel the luxury of letting go, immersing myself in the here and now, and banishing negative thoughts and nagging worries.

Uh oh: Change, Change, Change

My best friend Jenna Leigh and me in Washington, D.C. July 2010.

This past Sunday I had the worst chest pains I've ever had. I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. I drove myself to the ER at 9 pm, after vomiting several times en route, and was poked and prodded and finally released at 2 am with prescriptions for anti-nausea, anti-cramping, and pain. The verdict is not yet set, but the ER doctor and the internist I visited on Monday morning think I may have gallstones, which is honestly one of the most embarrassing things to be diagnosed with since this medical issue almost always affects people who are overweight. I am one such person, I'm also part Native American (which makes me even more susceptible to gallbladder issues), and I'm a woman (we tend to have more issues with this part of our body than men).

Necessity is the Mother of Figuring Crap Out for Yourself: Roasted Chicken & Greek Yogurt with Berries, Mint & Honey

These past three weeks have found me slowly sorting through boxes at my new apartment, learning how to identify and use an Allen wrench, and mastering the art of roasted chicken (for the recipe, click here). These last two feats are accomplishments I am most proud of because I had quite simply relegated these duties to someone else. I think it’s very easy to do—to let a loved one take a defined role and run with it. Yet, when I was confronted with the fact that I was the only person who would be able to attach the legs to my dining room table and to make a delicious dinner (the cats Zelda and Willa didn’t volunteer), I learned new skills and felt more self-sufficient in the process.


Roasted Chicken, The Montage, from A Girl and Her Oven from Michaella Hammond on Vimeo.

So, this week’s recipes are dedicated to all the single people out there who are holding down the fort, depending on numero uno, serving as the life of the party and patiently looking at yet another friend’s new baby photos (by the way, a beautiful little one was born 5 weeks ago—Go, Sinclaire and Sinclaire’s momma Lesley!), attending yet another June-time wedding alone but not afraid to boogie with the little kids who bound across the dance floor, and for anyone who is figuring out what to do since your loved one left or passed away.

Hang in there! Buy a beautiful chicken from a farmer’s market or the grocery store, pre-heat the oven, pop open a bottle of wine or San Pellegrino, put Tarnation’s haunting alt-country songs on the radio, and relax. Dinner is in the oven and you are the master of the universe. Seriously, that’s how awesome this roasted chicken smells and tastes.

And for dessert, reward your palate with a simple, summer-time dessert for one:

Greek Yogurt with Berries, Mint and Honey

Ingredients
1 container Greek yogurt
A handful of blackberries (or whatever seasonal fruit you adore)
A few sprigs of mint (I harvested mine from my old apartment's garden)
A healthy drizzle of honey (I’d like to buy some buckwheat honey, but I settled for clover in this instance)

Sprinkle berries and mint over a dish of greek yogurt. Drizzle an ample rope of honey over the concoction. Enjoy!

Hugs and high fives,
Kella

p.s. Don't underestimate the power of the "bacon shield." Not only does it flavor the chicken quite nicely, but it also keeps the breast super moist and chaste (j/k). Bacon is better than SPF 70, if you ask me.

p.p.s. Please, please, please check out my dear friend Shane's amazing food blog, Eat Day. He's super talented, literary-minded, and funny. You'll fall instantly in love with him. Trust me on this one.